To break, or not to break: That is the Question…

May be it’s in my fate to love and lose. But then, someday… Somewhere realise that the reason I lost every single time was cos I decided not to act. May be the actions I take are not enough…

Will they ever be?
I don’t know…

Will I ever give in more effort?

Do I want to?
Trust me, I do…

But am I allowed to?
No. Not unless I can be sure that breaking it would result in a positive effect for me.

And maybe for that simple stubbornness of mine I might lose out on the one of the most beautiful girls I know.
Or maybe I already have.. Since a long time.

Do I regret it?
Every single moment.

What are rules for, if not make our lives easier!!!

And what is this set of rules I so fiercely follow gives me?
A misplaced sense of self respect…

So, even though I realise how much of an ass I am being, by not breaking or changing them, why am I not acting in a way that would allow me to put my heart at ease and try to come to a closure?
May be cos I am afraid of what the future holds… What her reply would be.

May be I am better off without knowing; ignorance is bliss.
Or is it?

May be I am using my rules as a surrogate so that I may protect myself from the truth.
May be, my rules are a way of hiding my incompetencies and insecurities from myself.
Even if I break them, and try to take action on my own, I can never be sure how far I would be successful.

But then again, it’s not fun to watch a movie whose end you already know…


Of Marginal Utility and Pleasure

Marginal utility: The additional satisfaction, or pleasure gained from an incremental amount of anything, physical or otherwise. A vital concept in economics, which holds true in every aspect of life as well. Usually in pursuit of our “ultimate goals”, we fail to consider the bigger picture: life is not just starting from one end, and reaching the other. The journey through, consists of the larger chunk of time we spend. And thus, that is where we should focus more of our attention on.

In the early 20th century, there was someone who did point out the importance of taking time out for oneself: W.H. Davies. Even though his words have been immortalised, they have hardly been followed. We still associate laziness, and lack of ambition with those who choose to sometimes “stand and stare”.

With time, happiness became a synonym of success, and success underwent a heinous mutation to refer to anything which may become a subject of jealousy: a high paying job, an expensive car you have no practical use for other than making sure it becomes an object of envy in your neighbourhood, that world trip which you chose only cos someone you knew returned from one a couple of weeks ago. All these may satiate our ego, but underneath all the facade, most of the time we do feel empty inside.

Every time we achieve one of our goals, we set another one; never satisfied, always moving. We push ourselves, promising one more step, and then the next. And we stop deriving pleasure from our achievements. We are simply supposed to get it all. And that’s when our achievements become our bane. It adds more pressure on us to perform better and better, like a positive feedback mechanism; the more we achieve in one cycle, the more we have to work hard in the next.

And trapped within the rat race, we forget the fact that sometimes the greatest bit of happiness comes from the smallest things:

  • A cute puppy following you around, vigorously wagging its tail, hoping for another cookie like you so generously gave it seconds agoPhoto0225
  • Getting to play your favorite sports post exams.
  • Def that difficult boss, who had dampened your progress in the game since a long time.
  • Finally listening to that song whose tune you have been humming from God knows when.
  • At last, going on that long ride you had planned for over a year.

An accepted friend request, perhaps…


Of Swords and Cherry Blossoms

Gotta get back. Back to the past. Samurai Jack.

“Everything that has a beginning, has an end”, said the guy who conquered the world. Perhaps there is a lesson in it for all of us. We grow attached to people, to things, and to memories and believe they will stay with us forever. Continue reading


A Light That Never Comes twice

LOST IN THE ECHO of the songs he left behind,
It’s so much EASIER TO RUN than face the truth…
To finally realise there will be EMPTY SPACES where he was,
It took everything FROM THE INSIDE,
And left my heart IN PIECES in The SHADOW OF THE DAY.. Continue reading


Lost Love

What do you do when the girl you love sends you an invitation to her wedding?

Would you give up and let go of it,
Or would you stand up and fight for it?
Do you cry alone, and confine yourself,
Or do you smile at your fate and learn to live with yourself?
Continue reading


After the Last…

The first time he laid his eyes on her, she was staring at someone else. “That’s a temporary thing,” he thought, “she will get over him.” Years passed. She wasn’t over ‘him’ yet.
Continue reading


Words Unsaid

Thought of finally saying out how he really felt,
What never came out, what shouldn’t wait.
Someone intervened before he could assert,
Too late. He was too late.

Continue reading